December Reflections: Releasing New Year’s Pressure and Choosing a More Sustainable Way Forward

Photo by Andy Feliciotti on Unsplash‍ ‍

There is something so seductive about a wild, turn-your-life-upside-down kind of mentality when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, isn’t there?

The big declarations.

The fresh start energy.

The promise that this year will finally be different.

The whole Eat, Pray, Love fantasy of burning it all down, reinventing yourself, and emerging calmer, leaner, more disciplined by February.

Believe me when I say — I get it. Because that was ME for many years.

That kind of change is rarely the kind that actually lasts. But you probably already know that.

Why White-Knuckling Never Works for Long

December has a way of shining a spotlight on everything we didn’t do. The habits we meant to change but weren’t able to or didn’t have time for. The routines that never quite stuck. When January looms, it can feel like the only solution is to go harder, stricter, and more extreme.

Women decide they’ll be “more disciplined.”

They cut foods, tighten rules, push harder and do whatever crazy fad diet is out there.

They tell themselves they just need to want it badly enough.

And for a while, it works. Until life happens...This is where so many women assume something is wrong with THEM. But it’s not a willpower problem. And it’s not a lack of information. You can only white-knuckle your way through change for so long.

The Role Mindset Plays (That Most Advice Skips)

Here’s what most New Year’s advice misses:

Your habits are shaped by your mindset, nervous system, stress load, hormones, and environment — not just your intentions. If setting GOALS or resolutions was all we needed, we’d all be fit millionaires, am I right?

If your default mode is pushing, overriding your needs, and holding it all together for everyone else, no resolution will magically fix that.

Many women I work with identify as:

• The over-functioner

• The caretaker

• The one who “handles it”

Those patterns didn’t come out of nowhere. They helped you cope. They helped you survive busy seasons, hard years, and constant demands.

But now?

They’re often the very patterns keeping you stuck.

If your nervous system is always in go-mode, your body will eventually look for relief — through food, rest avoidance, emotional eating, or burnout. That’s not a lack of discipline. That’s biology. You can’t out-rule a system that’s overwhelmed.

Restrictive Resolutions Backfire

Restrictive resolutions assume that behavior changes first — and mindset will catch up later.

But in reality, it works the other way around. When change is rooted in pressure, shame, or fear of “messing up again,” it creates resistance. Your brain stays on high alert, scanning for threats and relief.

That’s why extreme plans often lead to:

• Eating on autopilot after a stressful day

• Feeling disconnected from your hunger and fullness

• An all-or-nothing relationship with routines

• Guilt and shame when things don’t go perfectly

Real change doesn’t come from controlling yourself harder. It comes from understanding why certain patterns show up — and learning how to respond differently.

Looking at Food Without the Moral Lens

When mindset comes first, food stops being the enemy. Instead of labeling choices as “good” or “bad,” (on-path or off path) reflection becomes more neutral:

• What did I reach for when I was overwhelmed?

• What helped me feel steady and energized?

• Where did I eat quickly because I felt rushed or pressured?

This isn’t about excusing habits — it’s about understanding them.

When you remove judgment, you gain clarity. And clarity is far more powerful than restriction.

A More Grounded Way to Approach the New Year

If New Year’s resolutions have left you frustrated in the past, maybe the issue isn’t motivation — it’s the approach. Instead of asking yourself to become a new person overnight (which is impossible anyway), consider starting with mindset-based intentions:

• Slowing down enough to notice patterns

• Building routines that reduce stress instead of adding pressure

• Eating in a way that supports energy and consistency

• Creating structure without rigidity

These aren’t flashy goals. They don’t make for dramatic January transformations.

But they do create something far more sustainable: trust in yourself. And trust is what makes change stick.

Balance Isn’t Passive — It’s Intentional

A balanced lifestyle isn’t about doing whatever feels good in the moment.

It’s about learning how to support yourself — especially during stress.

Balance looks like:

• Planning meals that work on busy days

• Allowing flexibility without losing structure

• Making choices based on how you want to feel — not what you’re trying to avoid

• Responding to stress instead of numbing it

This is the work that happens before behavior changes.

When mindset shifts, habits follow.

Carrying This Energy Into January

As December winds down, you don’t need to punish yourself into progress.

You don’t need extreme rules, a fresh start fantasy, or a “this time I’ll do it right” promise. What you need is a different foundation.

One that understands:

• You’re not lazy

• You’re not broken

• And you don’t need more discipline — you need better support

So as the year closes, consider letting go of the pressure to reinvent yourself. Instead, focus on building from where you are — with awareness, steadiness, and intention. Because real change doesn’t come from white-knuckling harder. It comes from changing the way you relate to yourself — and letting your habits grow from there.